Year 10: Tomorrow Man
“Tomorrow Man”
Last week the Year 10’s had their 4th session of “Tomorrow Man”. This was also attended by Mr Hindle, Mr Wilkinson, the Chaplain – Reverend Gary van Heerden and myself. Below is a summary of some of the key messages shared with the boys.
These sessions aim to challenge outdated male stereotypes and get boys thinking about what sort of man they want to become, with a focus on what they do and how they respond as they become young men. They are taught that there will be times when they get things wrong and that will set them back. However, if they learn from that mistake, then it is not a wasted experience.
Most young men are scared of showing who they are, scared to reveal their weakness, scared to be vulnerable, scared to show emotion. And to hide this, they deflect by making things into a joke, or they go quiet. This is the way many men deal with sensitive stuff. Except it’s not actually dealing with it, it is just hiding from it. Often, we are afraid of not being good enough or of being inadequate in some way. But essentially, we are afraid of being embarrassed, or feeling ashamed or humiliated.
Making themselves vulnerable by opening themselves up and saying what is inside their hearts, is the hardest thing in the world for young men to do. But the best way to conquer fear is to face up to it. If we don’t practise this, we find it harder and harder the older we get.
We have strange ideas about what a strong man is. Most of it is tied to our bodies. But that’s not it – it’s how we use our bodies, and our brains, that define how strong a man we are. We believe that a strong man is someone who can face their fears; and someone who can be gentle (especially when they are angry or frustrated). Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up. Teenage boys often put their peers down, and in so doing put themselves down – because they are afraid of what they can be, and they are afraid to respect what others can be. The main aim of Tomorrow Man is to make young men better than they thought they could be.
The boys are taught that if you make your peers feel good, and if you lift them up, then you allow them to be a better version of themselves, and they will appreciate that and remember how you made them feel. It also makes you a better version of who you were.
Finally, the boys are taught that every day you can do something that your future self will thank you for. That might be looking after yourself better, developing really good habits, or teaching yourself to be kinder to those around you. Each of these things is something that the older version of you will be glad you did.